AuntyB and Grandmama

Toddler Brainstorming

AuntyB: The toddler turning preschooler wants so much to enter into conversation. Observing others for months talking around and over them creates a burning desire to be a part of this social system.

In the same way their body moves from one activity to another with brief, intense focusing, so does mind and speech. Can you jump, Mom? Can you jump, Dad? Besides giving directions, showing how and teaching, it is time to refine your tactics and follow the child's thinking.

It is tremendous fun for you and your child as you take time to really listen and let the child lead.

Perhaps your little one will say: "Joe Joe barked at me."

You may respond, "JoJo was telling you hello."

Child: "I don't like loud barking."

Parent: "It hurts your ears?"

Child: "Yes." Pause. "I had couscous for lunch."

Why Doesn't My Toddler Do What He's Told

A reader writes:

My 2 year old seems to lack discipline (?). I am not talking about perfect table manners, but about the ability, and willingness, to perform simple tasks when asked. The kind of sophistication that says:

A task has been asked of me.

I know how to do this task.

I want to do this task. (Or, You can't make me do this task!)

I am trying to do this task.

I did it! I did it!

Many times it seems that he does not realize that someone has asked him to do something (ie. doesn't get past Step 1). And I don't know when it's an act or if he really did not understand. And other times he assigns himself tasks that will be completed no matter what (one of his favorites is putting away the dishes from the dishwasher).

I have seen some area daycares where they constantly give children his age instructions, and they seem very capable of doing them. Is his less structured enviornment (he goes to a in-home daycare) not teaching him the skills that he will need to understand how to follow instructions? Or is he just being a toddler?

How much internal discipline and social awareness should I expect at this age?

Grandmama: There's a site with month by month expectations for toddlers. This should help you with where your son stands in development. It's a good idea to also check on your caregiver's expectations for the children. Observe, if you can, for a full day. It's the only way to answer that question.

Now, at home: Remember, he is still in process of learning a foreign language. He doesn't always get all you say. And, it takes a while for him to process the words presented.

The upshot is to try this: