My toddler is turning three. She is very independent but sometimes reverts back to dependence. Where should she be in order to gain successful entry into a Montessori 3 - 6 year old classroom?
AuntyB: I prefer to look at certain rites of passage as homestones rather than milestones. Developmental milestones are rigid, time-related tasks that are expected and agonized over if not achieved as the book dictates.
Homestones
Homestones are tasks and routines that are developed over the first three years of life. They come about according to the child's readiness to imitate your modeling. Whatever routine you have set up with the child will determine the tasks that will be accomplished by three years of age.
A Word about Routines
A routine day is one which has unfolded with the child's rhythm of development. It changes slowly over a period of time as the child matures and takes on more responsibility for self-care. Routine allows a sense of safety and stability. Knowing what is going to happen -- and when -- empowers the child to take ownership of the day and the expected time frames for activities.
What makes a successful daily routine? Keeping the routine the same, the same, the same.
Interrupting the day with changes like skipping nap time, late lunches, overstimulating activities will throw the child off routine for days, perhaps a week. If your child is entering a Montessori environment, there will be a set routine to the day which must be adapted to and complied with. Normalizing (getting used to a routine) takes a while. If you have a routine at home, the you have th3e first homestone under your belt. If not, try at least three months prior to entry into school to have a morning routine that does not vary.
AuntyB Hint: See what the routine is at school and begin to tailor your time slots at home to match that at school. For example:
- 7 am Get up and get dressed
- 7:30 Breakfast
- 8:00 Morning Songs -- sitting together on a circular rug
- 8:15 - 9:15 Indoor Table Work
- 9:15 - 9:30 Snack at a table
- 9:30 - 10:30 Outdoor Play
- 11:00 Lunch
- 11:45 Nap
Grandmama: There it is from one well-qualified and experienced educator to you, dear parent. Here it is from one generation to the new generation of parents: Not setting up established routines and expectations for your children, along with household responsibilities, is setting yourself and your children for struggles, both now and in the long run. How long? Like through the teenage years and beyond.
You must teach them these skills but gently and through modeling.
Children with learning disabilities, such as attention deficit, absolutely require routines (and later, learning to identify and establish routines that work for themselves.) Also, one routine for the school week and none for the weekend wreaks havoc for the first two days of the school week following the weekend, both at school and at home.
Getting routines started takes a bit. Bite the bullet. Get the information you need and get started.You'll find parenting, after a few weeks, becomes MUCH easier than it was before you established the routines.
We all have our routines, whether it's deliberate or just "letting things happen" (coincidently the same way everyday.) You will probably find, if you've never experienced it for yourself, that creating your own deliberately considered routine for yourself makes life so much more pleasant.
John Maxwell speaks of making key life decisions and then managing them. It works on the microcosm of everyday life too. His book Today Matters: 12 Daily Practices to Guarantee Tomorrow's Success
AuntyB has eight more Homestones coming for you in the next post!
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