Help! I'm out of patience. My toddler is two slow. We never manage to meet any deadline on time any more. How can I hurry things along?
AuntyB: Take your too slow two year old to Grandmama's or AuntyB's. They have just put on their brakes to their fast-paced lifestyle, trading it in for more deliberate slow-quality moments. That's why Grandmamas, Auntys and Grandbabies mesh so well.
Both prioritize willfully the enjoyment of small magical successes. All are fiercely independent.They do not want anyone to take over their challenges. There is this mutual understanding. Each allows the other space to unfold and time.
You also need a break! Recognize that. Your two year old must accomplish goals according to an individual personal inner time frame. They can not be pushed. Rushing ends up in a tantrum disaster or a passive dependent child.
Give up rigid time schedules or get some outside help when you must meet your own deadlines. You need time to be. Call Grandmama or AuntyB. They remember when you were two and two slow.
I applaud your patience as your little one is working so hard at being independent.
Grandmama: Oh yes. I remember when the Mother's Day Out teacher lovingly told me that she thought of our middle daughter as "The Poky Little Puppy." It wasn't a problem for them or her. And three years later it wasn't a problem with her Kindergarten teacher who said she had the longest attention span of any child she'd ever seen.
But getting out of the house on time. Whew.
AuntyB and I have been trying to stress the importance of regular routine. If you don't take care of that, you will live in a state of hurry, hurry. You will be tempted to dress that child, tie their shoes and anything else to get them out the door. They'll respond with a tantrum or passively letting you do it all for them, setting up those routines for, at least, the rest of their time with you.
I know now that I needed to plan for more time then. I see that I let the activities of three children, ages 2, 4, and 9, distract me from their need for a structured routine which guided them naturally into the day.
Though your children, exposed to outside pressures, think they need more activities, more possessions, more lessons, more clothes and so on, they really don't. Try to see what is keeping you from seizing the moment with them. Then, bravely, quit it. Less work, less carpooling, more of less of everything. More of one another.
The idea of quality time is a myth. The special moments arrive most often without planning, in the midst of the everyday. If where you are going to be in a half hour takes precedence, that moment, which may be critical for a future memory, will be gone forever.
Take that break. But, after you've recovered a bit, take some time for reflection. Don't let doing and going become a sad substitute for being.
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