AuntieB: I grew up with my Granny up the hill in her little white frame house, and my Grandma and Aunt across the creek from our house. It shaped my life. I was in and out of their homes daily.
In the cold weather, I would warm my backside at Granny’s open gas heater just inside the front door. Grandma Bennett walked over every morning just to say hello and out the door again.
And, Aunt Ruthie always had time, every day, to see me. We often had supper together or a cheese and cracker snack. She played the piano for me, and we sang together. Ruthie loved gardening, and I loved helping her. One day, she was bitten by a snake and rushed over to Granny’s home. Granny cut her finger and bled out the poison.
We all rolled together as a family unit, the child being a common denominator. I was that child. I felt loved by everyone and loved each one dearly.
Mother and Daddy made our home. The rest made the family. Being loved in childhood by family makes a huge difference in the way you function in the world as an adult. The enriching time way back spills over to the present.
This is what I want for all who are entrusted to my care — and to yours.
Grandmama: AuntieB was not the only child in that family grouping. Five years younger, my experiences with Granny, Grandma and Aunt Ruthie were equally formative. Granny moved into her little frame house the year of my birth. Aunt Ruthie and Grandma built their home nearby less than five years later. Their solid, reassuring presence was all I ever knew.
Even in my teen years, I was often at both homes. Aunt Ruthie let me use her fancy Singer sewing machine as I learned to sew. She was always impeccably dressed, in perfectly fitting clothes, due to her own sewing skills. There came a time when she called on me for sewing (and sewing machine) advice as I pursued advanced technique at the university.
The third child in the mix was our cousin, Donna. Donna Sue, we called her then. She lived less than a mile away and was the only child of our mother’s twin sister. Donna stayed with Grandma and Ruthie before and after school while her mother worked at the Post Office.
Grandma taught Donna her first piano lessons. Extraordinarily gifted in music, and encouraged from the youngest age, she went on to study at Baylor University and have a full career teaching music herself. Her daughter now also pursues music.
I cannot think of a richer way to enjoy childhood than in the presence of those who love you and see a world of possibilities in you. Our mother certainly had primary influence. But, she was also blessed with advice from the more experience (as she later blessed me) and the opportunity for a break as we spent time, safely, away from home, often spending the night.
My girls grew up for many years around the corner, within walking distance, from their Grandmama. And, that same Aunt Ruthie lived nearby. Their influence was as great on them as it was on my sister and me.
AuntieB herself created the possibilities for that relationship when she had each of the older girls live with her for a semester in far away South Texas. During the last high school years of the youngest, she was near. They often took a Saturday for a photo shoot. They’d spend the morning taking photos, one-hour develop them at Walgreens and then critique them over lunch. (That daughter now has her BFA in art and is still a photographer and graphic artist.)
There is power in family. It reaches through the generations. It can be a rich or paltry influence. As parents, we have to do whatever it takes to gain that for our children, and grandchildren.
It hurts my heart to see little ones grow up in a familial vacuum. Their relationships with others never quite gain the richness of those raised in the security and love of the extended family.
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